i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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