I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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