You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
