my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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