Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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