The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
50% drunk capacity currently
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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