So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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