Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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