Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
did you just send me my own nude
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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