Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
