We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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