Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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