How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
