Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
