when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
