i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
