it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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