She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
