she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
