Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
