i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
