I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
