He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's the barista slut.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We had sex on a dog bed..
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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