You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
