Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
