So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
