Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
