Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
