I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
