I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize