the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
