The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
