I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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