me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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