So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
