I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
