Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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