This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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