I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize