im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
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