Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
