i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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