After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We had to coat check the pizza.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
