Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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