Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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