your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize