Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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