i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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