You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This girl is more easily done than said...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
