In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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