their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
where are my pants?
in the oven.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
