ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
