just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
