your thong is hanging out like whoa
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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