He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize