I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
