Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
