I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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