You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
