East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
