new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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